Ranking the automotive abilities of the starsigns
Good day, Lanes and Junctions,
Time to buckle up for an astute assessment of the automotive abilities of the Astrological Zodiac signs.
Today, we’ll explore if being a Taurus makes you terrific in traffic or if being a Libran puts you in constant collision courses.
Time to buckle up for an astute assessment of the automotive abilities of the Astrological Zodiac signs.
Today, we’ll explore if being a Taurus makes you terrific in traffic or if being a Libran puts you in constant collision courses.
1.
Virgo
Starting at pole position is our order-loving Virgo! You, dear Virgo, never miss a parking spot. Your GPS is optional because your internal compass is like a self-driving car. You always have the cleanest car on the block and for that, I thank you.
Virgos are the perfectionist drivers! Detail-oriented Virgos treat traffic rules like a holy scripture. They have seatbelts for their groceries, and their car interiors look like pages from a car catalog – impeccably clean!
2.
Taurus
Coming in second as excellent drivers are Tauruses. You folks are patient in traffic and determined to arrive on time. Also, we all know you love luxury, so those heated leather seats can keep you comfortable on those long road trips.
They put a steer in the driving seat! A Taurus on the road is about as reluctant as a bull in a china shop. They’re barely moving – unless there’s a sale at the mall, then, they shift gears like they’ve stolen the vehicle.
3.
Capricorn
Third, we have the Capricorns. You goats don’t like taking risks on the highway, almost as if each road sign is your personal life coach. One-handed, blindfolded, driving in reverse? Not on your watch.
Theey are methodical drivers who treat every drive like a mission. Driving examiners love Capricorns because they follow rules to a T – except when they keep hogging the fast lane with their consistently ‘safe’ speed.
4.
Libra
Up next, Libras in fourth place. You’re all about keeping the road fair and balanced, but trouble strikes when you can’t decide which route to take.
The balanced motorists. They drive with such elegance and beauty. Their commuting playlists have Chopin featured. However, don’t expect them to make quick decisions at a fork in the road.
5.
Aquarius
Fifth position goes to the Aquarius drivers. Innovative and progressive, you guys are Tesla drivers before it’s cool. You’re even using that dating app exclusively for carpooling.
Aquarians are likely to be driving a car you’ve never seen before. It’s an eco-friendly, solar-powered, self-steering, bio-degradable car. But when it comes to directions, Aquarius, north isn’t always forward!
6.
Aries
Aries, you fiery folks, you’re sixth on the list. Speed limit signs are more like suggestions, right? Your ‘drive’ certainly translates onto the road… into excessive speeding tickets.
Indicators are merely decorative to them, their maps are blank because they never bother looking at them. On the positive side, they’re first on the scene of an accident…because they sometimes caused it!
7.
Sagittarius
Sagittarius takes seventh place. Known for their love of travel, these Archers are always on the move. Just ask a Sagittarius how many times they’ve taken a ‘brief’ detour off road, you know, “‘just because”.
…Back roads? Cow paths? It’s all the same to them; they’re adventurers. They consider GPS a strictly optional accessory!
8.
Cancer
The eighth position goes to Cancers. You guys love your shells, and that extends to your cars. But, if we just peeled you away from your emotional attachment to that 30-year-old station wagon, we would all breathe easier.
You know those cars that are either too slow or too fast, available or unavailable with completely inexplicable patterns? Yeah, that’s Cancer They react to traffic like they do with their emotions – with panic, chaos, or overdramatic sighs!
9.
Pisces
Landing at ninth is Pisces. With your heads in the clouds and dreamy nature, you’ll find Pisceans driving in the most serene way, they’re basically meditating in the car. It might take them a bit longer to reach, but boy, will their journey be peaceful!
10.
Leo
Number ten, we have Leos, the kings and queens of the road. Typically seen roaring in their sports cars, the rules are often forgotten in favour of style and speed. Red lights – those are for underlings, surely?
They’re not driving, they’re parading! Don’t be surprised if they start throwing beads out of the window during peak hours. They want applause for successful parking. Sorry, but the ‘Parking Oscars’ don’t exist, Leo!
11.
Gemini
Eleventh are Geminis. Your dual nature reveals itself too well while driving. One twin likes to obey traffic rules, the other one figures donuts in the parking lot are a great way to kill time.
Two sides, two driving styles! On one hand, they’re traveling at light speed, on the other hand, they’re casually cruising while chatting away on hands-free. Their constant lane-switching makes dual carriageways feel like a game of Frogger!
12.
Scorpio
And finally, in twelfth and last place, we have Scorpios – with that whole ‘death and rebirth’ thing, they seem to have a knack for resurrection… especially when it comes to their insurance premiums after numerous accidents. Let’s be honest Scorpios, the fast lane isn’t for everyone.
With their mysterious aura, you never quite know if they’re about to pull out of a side street or take you on a high-speed chase!
So there you have it! Remember, regardless of the stars, there is no astrological aspect for poor car maintenance. Check your tires, change the oil, and for heaven’s sake, use your turn signals!