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Driving – Ranking the astrological automotive abilities of the starsigns.

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  Ranking the automotive abilities of the starsigns   Good day, Lanes and Junctions, Time to buckle up for an astute assessment of the automotive abilities of the Astrological Zodiac signs. Today, we’ll explore if being a Taurus makes you terrific in traffic or if being a Libran puts you in constant collision courses. 1. VirgoStarting at pole position is our order-loving Virgo! You, dear Virgo, never miss a parking spot. Your GPS is optional because your internal compass is like a self-driving car. You always have the cleanest car on the block and for that, I thank you. Virgos are the perfectionist drivers! Detail-oriented Virgos treat traffic rules like a holy scripture. They have seatbelts for their groceries, and their car interiors look like pages from a car catalog – impeccably clean! 2. TaurusComing in second as excellent drivers are Tauruses. You folks are patient in traffic and determined to arrive on time. Also, we all know you love luxury, so those heated leather seats can keep you comfortable on those long road trips. They put a steer in the driving seat! A Taurus on the road is about as reluctant as a bull in a china shop. They’re barely moving – unless there’s a sale at the mall, then, they shift gears like they’ve stolen the vehicle.3. CapricornThird, we have the Capricorns. You goats don’t like taking risks on the highway, almost as if each road sign is your personal life coach. One-handed, blindfolded, driving in reverse? Not on your watch. Theey are methodical drivers who treat every drive like a mission. Driving examiners love Capricorns because they follow rules to a T – except when they keep hogging the fast lane with their consistently ‘safe’ speed.4. LibraUp next, Libras in fourth place. You’re all about keeping the road fair and balanced, but trouble strikes when you can’t decide which route to take. The balanced motorists. They drive with such elegance and beauty. Their commuting playlists have Chopin featured. However, don’t expect them to make quick decisions at a fork in the road.5. AquariusFifth position goes to the Aquarius drivers. Innovative and progressive, you guys are Tesla drivers before it’s cool. You’re even using that dating app exclusively for carpooling. Aquarians are likely to be driving a car you’ve never seen before. It’s an eco-friendly, solar-powered, self-steering, bio-degradable car. But when it comes to directions, Aquarius, north isn’t always forward!6. AriesAries, you fiery folks, you’re sixth on the list. Speed limit signs are more like suggestions, right? Your ‘drive’ certainly translates onto the road… into excessive speeding tickets. Indicators are merely decorative to them, their maps are blank because they never bother looking at them. On the positive side, they’re first on the scene of an accident…because they sometimes caused it!7. Sagittarius Sagittarius takes seventh place. Known for their love of travel, these Archers are always on the move. Just ask a Sagittarius how many times they’ve taken a ‘brief’ detour off road, you know, “‘just because”. …Back roads? Cow paths? It’s all the same to them; they’re adventurers. They consider GPS a strictly optional accessory! 8. CancerThe eighth position goes to Cancers. You guys love your shells, and that extends to your cars. But, if we just peeled you away from your emotional attachment to that 30-year-old station wagon, we would all breathe easier. You know those cars that are either too slow or too fast, available or unavailable with completely inexplicable patterns? Yeah, that’s Cancer They react to traffic like they do with their emotions – with panic, chaos, or overdramatic sighs!9. PiscesLanding at ninth is Pisces. With your heads in the clouds and dreamy nature, you’ll find Pisceans driving in the most serene way, they’re basically meditating in the car. It might take them a bit longer to reach, but boy, will their journey be peaceful!10. LeoNumber ten, we have Leos, the kings and queens of the road. Typically seen roaring in their sports cars, the rules are often forgotten in favour of style and speed. Red lights – those are for underlings, surely? They’re not driving, they’re parading! Don’t be surprised if they start throwing beads out of the window during peak hours. They want applause for successful parking. Sorry, but the ‘Parking Oscars’ don’t exist, Leo!11. GeminiEleventh are Geminis. Your dual nature reveals itself too well while driving. One twin likes to obey traffic rules, the other one figures donuts in the parking lot are a great way to kill time. Two sides, two driving styles! On one hand, they’re traveling at light speed, on the other hand, they’re casually cruising while chatting away on hands-free. Their constant lane-switching makes dual carriageways feel like a game of Frogger!12. ScorpioAnd finally, in twelfth and last place, we have Scorpios – with that whole ‘death and rebirth’ thing, they seem to have a knack for resurrection… especially when it comes to their insurance premiums after numerous accidents. Let’s be honest Scorpios, the fast lane isn’t for everyone. With their mysterious aura, you never quite know if they’re about to pull out of a side street or take you on a high-speed chase!So there you have it! Remember, regardless of the stars, there is no astrological aspect for poor car maintenance. Check your tires, change the oil, and for heaven’s sake, use your turn signals!

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Artistic ability – We’ve assessed the Zoodiac Star Signs by Artistic ability

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  We’ve assessed the Zoodiac Star Signs by Artistic Ability Good day, so glad you could join us Lautrec and Gaugan, So today we’re going to rank the zodiac signs by artistic ability. First up there’s Libra. Now, Libra is the sign of balance, they can make art out of literally anything! They are the inventors of the sock puppet theater, I tell you! Speaking of socks, let’s talk about Pisces. They’re the odd fish of the group, so you can imagine the type of artwork they do: There’s watercolour, then there’s water-water colour, and then, naturally, there’s just plain water. Then there’s Scorpio. Scorpios are passionate about everything! So passionate, in fact, that they keep burning their canvases down mid-painting in a fit of zeal. Cancers are amazing at clay modeling – unfortunately, all their clay sculptures are houses or house bricks. They are just born Home bodies. Aries are meant to be leaders, initiators, early adopters. Their art consists of starting a hundred sketches and not finishing a single one! Then we have Gemini – They plan to paint, sure! But, they change their mind so much maybe they’ll paint, maybe they’ll knit, maybe they’ll sculpt… it’s anyone’s guess really! Talking about plans, a Capricorn will have a PowerPoint ready to prove how they are the Picasso of the zodiac community. Leo’s are innovative, they paint with anything that’s not paint. Mayonnaise, custard, ketchup, you name it! Sagittarius thinks outside the box! Literally, as they frequently forget to buy canvases. I’ve heard the phrase ‘painting the town red,’ but these folks, they’re painting the kitchen table! Aquarius, they do abstract art. So abstract even they don’t know what they’ve painted. Virgos, they are known perfectionists. They would rather die than leave a brushstroke out of place, quite literally their art can take up to 30 years. Talk about dedication! Finally Taurus, they’re Earth signs, rooted in reality. Their most creative work is painting their bills and turning them into birds in flight! So there you have it, folks – the zodiac, as translated through the artistic world. It’s like Picasso meets horoscopes meets a complete shambles!

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Happiness – We’ve ranked the Zoodiac Star Signs by how joyful they are (usually)

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  We’ve ranked the Zoodiac Star Signs by happiness! Good day, so glad you could join us Laughter and Grumpiness, Heaven knows we’ve all found ourselves down those ludicrous online rabbit holes, haven’t we? ‘What does your favourite colour say about your personality’… ‘Which Friends character are you?’… ‘What type of bread are you?’ But today, we are talking about the mother of them all, the grand old dame of pseudoscience – Astrology! Let’s contemplate where each of the 12 zodiac signs rank, from 12 to 1, on how successful they are in their pursuit of happiness. I mean, isn’t that what everyone is busy searching for…other than the remote control! Starting at number 12 we have Scorpios…Crikey, I dare say Scorpios are perpetually stuck at the last place in this pursuit of happiness. They are too busy plotting revenge on literally everyone to have time for happiness. They generally celebrate joy with scowls and frowns, it’s like they’ve confused Smiley Day with Halloween! Coming in at number 11, it’s the Librans. They’re so busy balancing and tip-toeing on scales that they keep falling off the happiness-wagon. Honey, stop trying to please everyone, just pick a side and maybe… just maybe…you can move up a step! Aquarians, you’re at number 10. You’re called ‘water bearers’ but I swear, it’s like you’re carrying the weight of the world and then some! Lighten up, your vision for utopia can wait, take a day off, have some ice cream! Sagittarians at number 9…Oh bless your hearts… Always off on some grand quest for wisdom and truth and adventure and… and… and, they forget where they set their happiness down. Like where are my keys? Sag, next time tie a string around it! Capricorns at number 8, you lot are wound up tighter than a Swiss watch! Seriously, relax your ears, your star sign isn’t a career advice hotline! Ah, number 7…Virgos! Detail-oriented…and when I say detail-oriented, I mean probably have a detailed catalogue of their farts. Happiness isn’t in the minute details, it’s in the broader nonsense! Pisceans! At number 6, they are drowning, folks! Drowning in a sea of emotions and creativity and another bucketload of emotions. It’s like they’re on a never-ending rollercoaster, weeee…and I forgot my underwear, weeee…and I’m Nicki Minaj, weeee… Number 5, Aries. Oh, Aries, they’re indeed the rams! Ramming everywhere and butting their head into happiness and saying, “MINE! ALL MINE!” But watch out, they often butt themselves out of the happy arena altogether. Number 4, Leo. Look, Leos, the sun doesn’t rise where you set, okay? The main stage is not your natural habitat! Sometimes happiness is backstage, sipping tea, you don’t always have to roar! Cancer comes in at number 3. They’re so in tune with their emotions that they might just have them on speed dial: “Hey sadness, it was lovely talking to you, let’s meet happiness for lunch… oh hello, anger? Catch you at dinner, don’t be late!” Taurus at number 2. Half human, half bull, all scoffers! Their mantra is “Will work for food!” Stuff them with food, sit them on a sofa, and they’re tickling the belly of happiness, I swear. And, of course, at number 1, in hot pursuit, if they haven’t cornered Happiness down a dead-end alley and shrieked, “GOTCHA!” at it already, we have the Gemini. They’ve perfected the art of being in two places at once: misery and joy. They are actually a pair, so if one is unhappy, the other one is erm… raring to go! And so ladies and gentlemen, there you have it! The completely ludicrous, entirely unscientific, and possibly inaccurate joy-O-meter for all our celestial classes. If it’s consolation, worry not, because apparently my sign, Capricorn, says I’m supposed to be funnier! Who knew happiness could be such a riot!  

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Technology – We’ve ranked the Zoodiac Star Signs by technological ability

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  We’ve ranked the Zoodiac Star Signs by technological ability Hello, Luddites and Geeks, Today, in a feat that would make Stephen Hawking spin in his hyperspace, we’re going to rank the Zodiac signs according to their aptitude for TECHNOLOGY! That’s right, we’re weaving together the ancient cosmos and the Jetsons in one unpredictable, star-spangled spectacular! Coming up last, we have Cancer. The Crab. Great at creating a cozy home, sure, but I mean, seriously…a crab? Have you ever tried to watch a crab use an iPhone? It’s hilarious. “Oh, no! I’ve got it… no, wait, that’s a rock.” Crabs and technology have as much compatibility as Donald Trump and humility. Cancers are the sort of people who refuse to update their software until the device becomes as obsolete as a typewriter. Cancerians, you rank 12th and I send my condolences. In eleventh place we have – drum roll, please… Taurus! Bulls and china shops come to mind. Well, technology is the new china shop, and Taurus… you’d be better off using a rotary phone, my friend. The good thing about Taurus, though, is that once they finally understand how to use an app, they use it with such stubborn routine it’d make a machine nervous. Next up, sneaking in at tenth, is the ever-sensitive Pisces. They are to technology what a vegan is to a butcher’s shop: uncomfortable and slightly distressed. Squinting at screens like they’re trying to read Morse code, and asking questions like, “Is the Cloud actual weather? Does it rain data? I don’t understand!” Now we come to the ninth position, the Virgos. The perfectionists of the Zodiac, and boy, does it show. They’ll have all the latest apps, up-to-date software, and the fanciest gadgets. But using them? That’s another story. You’ll find a Virgo three weeks deep into a gadget manual, cross-referencing it with an online forum. Virgo, you’d have mastered technology by now if you stopped trying to correct it. Riding into eighth, we have Sagittarius – adventurous, fun-loving, and eternally lost in the labyrinth of online streaming. Any Sagittarians here might relate: “Sure, I’d love to hang out, but I’m only one season away from knowing if dragons really can beat zombies.” Sliding comfortably into seventh is our friendly neighborhood Libra. Trying to balance everything all at once, social media savvy, but petrified of the online world’s lack of aesthetics. “Sure, I can download the app, but do they have it in pastel pink?” At the sixth slot, we have our fiery Leo. They’re present on every social media platform you can think of, and some you can’t even pronounce. Leo doesn’t have followers. They have fan clubs. They’ve never actually downloaded an app, but that’s because one of their many followers did it for them. Entering our top five, we have Capricorn. Old is gold for our sure-footed friends, who love their tech as vintage as their vinyl records. Bet you a Capricorn invented the “phone stack” game at dinner, but if their smartphone looked more like a gramophone, they’d be first place. Showing up in fourth place is the airy, eccentric Aquarius. Tech-savvy, yes, but they prefer their gadgets to have a touch of Telsa meets “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”. They’re less into social media, more into creating alternative realities. Coming in at a respectable third place, we have Aries. Fearless and quick to the punch. The very definition of the ‘early adopter’ – They’d have the latest iPhone delivered via drone to their doorstep, but may welll be unable to find the on-off button for weeks after that. In second place are the ever-curious Geminis. They don’t use technology. They converse with it. Geminis are the folks who ask their smart devices existential questions for fun and have ongoing debates with their satnavs. And now, for our techno altruist, our digital wizard, the first of the Zodiac, it’s the Scorpion: Scorpio! Part Hawking, part Jobs, full-on tech-wizard. They’re two steps ahead of the latest trends, and they’ll fix your smartphone while winning a Fortnite battle. That’s the horoscope rundown, folks. Don’t shoot the messenger…or me! Remember, whether you’re more crab than coder or more Scorpio than Luddite, the stars are just having a laugh, and so am I!

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The 10 best things about being a Libran

Libra, Ranking /

  The 10 best things about being a Libran. Ladies and gentlemen, hold on to your sun signs as we talk about Librans! As your friendly neighbourhood comedian-cum-astrologer, I’ve ranked the top ten best things about being a Libran. Trust me, these benefits would even make a Capricorn laugh. Or at least, you know, do whatever it is Capricorns do that’s equivalent to laughing. 1.Number One: Those scales aren’t just for show! Librans could weigh their options between a chocolate bar and cardio as if they were debating the theory of relativity. After all, why sweat out when you can just eat the calories and call it mental exercise!  2.Number two: The ability to charm the socks off everyone. Seriously, you meet a Libran, next thing you know, you’re walking about in bare feet! They’ve got this lovely, easy-going manner that’ll make you think, “Now here’s a straightforward person.” That is, until you discover them weighing options between broccoli and pizza for dinner.  3.Number three: There’s no decision a Libran can’t make…eventually. They’ll take their sweet time, of course, but rest assured that by the time Halley’s Comet swings by again, they’ll have finally decided between skimmed or semi-skimmed milk for their coffee!  4.Number four: Balance, not just on yoga mats! Librans have an amazing ability to balance their lives…and their diets, and their finances and pretty much everything else. They’re the reason we know for sure the world is round – gives them a sense of balance. 5.Number five: Did you say party? Because Librans are always up for one. Librans live by the motto, “Why go through life sober when you can have a glass of wine and make every moment divine!” 6.Number six: Librans, inventors of the selfie! They’ve got a natural charm and photogenic face that even the mirror admires. It’s like, check the mirror “Looking good”, check the fridge mirror “Looking good!”…I am pretty sure if there existed an undercover mirror, they’d look good in that one too! 7.Number seven: Is it hot in here or is it just number 4 – Librans’ love for all things stylish. A Libran would rather be accused of bad manners than bad fashion. 8.Number eight: Diplomacy should be their middle name, really. They could calm a raging bull or a fussy toddler or even a mother-in-law. If United Nations is scouting, they should totally check out a Libran. 9.Number nine: Librans, the Picasso of interior design! Honestly, they can toss a pillow here, place a candlestick there, and before you know it, you’re standing in a room right out of Better Homes & Gardens. 10.Finally and the top spot – their eternal optimism! Their glass isn’t just half full, it’s brimming over. Even when life throws lemons at them, they’re like, “Perfect! I just needed a garnish for my gin and tonic!” So, there you have it, the top 10 reasons why being a Libran is the best! While some might bemoan their indecisiveness, remember, it’s that hesitation that keeps them from choosing a boring life! Never change, Librans, you’re doing cosmic justice to your star sign!

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The 10 best things about being a Cancerian

Cancer, Ranking /

  The 10 best things about being a Cancerian. Ladies and gentlemen, gather round, gather round… especially all you Cancerians! Yes, that’s right! Us born between June 21st and July 22nd! You know, you’ve got to love being Cancerian, there’s simply SO. MANY. BENEFITS. Here are just ten of them… 1.  We are symbolized by a crab. Honestly, why wouldn’t you want to be represented by a creature that looks like it’s permanently auditioning for Riverdance?  2.  Everyone admires a Cancer’s loyalty. It’s a beautiful thing… until you mention changing your hairdresser or your football team. Listen here, mate! We’ve had the same barber since we had hair and we’d rather cut our own fringe than betray Gianluigi at the corner shop.  3.  We are excellent cooks. And it’s not just about making fantastic meals. No, no, no! We know exactly how to make the smoke alarm sing its lungs out and how to make a fire extinguisher the centrepiece of the kitchen!  4.  We are homebodies. Visiting the Great Wall of China? The Pyramids of Giza? Those are alright for some…but have they experienced the pure joy of a BritBox marathon in pyjamas? 5.  Cancerians are emotional, and this can be a great thing! If you can’t decide whether to laugh, cry, scream or all three at once, just hang out with a Cancerian. We’ll go through the whole range before teatime! 6.  We’re known for being good with money. Admittedly, it’s largely because we can’t remember our online banking password, but still, it counts, doesn’t it? 7.  Being protective is in our nature. On the plus side, our loved ones feel safe. On the downside, we’ve been known to give a stern talking to violent-looking potted plants. 8.  Oh, the joy of mood swings! Seriously, who needs roller-coasters and fancy adrenaline sports when you have a Cancerian’s emotional spectrum? 9.  Our intuition is second to none. We can’t explain how we knew you were about to run out of toilet paper…but also, you’re welcome. 10.  Cancerians have a knack for holding grudges. Oh, don’t misunderstand, we don’t hold them forever… just until the next Ice Age. So there you have it, folks! Ten wonderful, spectacular, and downright hilarious reasons why being a Cancerian is just the bee’s knees. Right, I’m off to fuss over my cat and eat my feelings while my dinner sets off the smoke alarm. Cheers!

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The 10 best things about being a Capricorn

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  The 10 best things about being a Capricorn. Ladies and Gentlemen, prepare to baaaa-sque in the glory of Capricorn, the goat of the zodiac! I’ve had the incredible pleasure… No, not pleasure, torture of analysing the poor souls born between December 22nd and January 19th. And it turns out: there are around ten fantastic things about being a Capricorn Goat with as much seriousness as when I am following the cooking instructions on a pizza box. 1.Ambition:Ambition is our middle name. I mean, figuratively. My actual middle name is Eugene, but that’s beside the point. We set goals so high, even Elon Musk is like, “Dude, chill out!” We’re out here climbing the career ladder like it’s made of goat cheese. 2.Practical:  Capricorns are uber-practical. I mean, we’re practical like a Swiss army knife… with a built-in toaster. Of course, when have you NOT needed a warm slice of toast in the wilderness, right?  3.Discipline: These people are disciplined. You remember those kids in school who’d remind the teacher about homework? No prizes for guessing their star sign, is it?  4.Time Managers: Capricorns are said to be great at time management. Which means they can calculate precisely how many minutes they’ve wasted reading about their horoscope! 5.Stamina  We’re the marathon runners of the zodiac. While other signs are sprinting through life, we’re over here pacing ourselves like, “Slow and steady wins the race, and I’ve got the endurance of a goat climbing Mount Everest.” 6.Party planner We know how to party. Okay, maybe not in the wild, crazy, “let’s set the dance floor on fire” kind of way. But we throw the most organized, well-planned parties you’ve ever seen. It’s like event planning is our hidden talent, and we’ve got spreadsheets for every celebration. 7.Self control: Capricorns also possess incredible self-control. You know that one last piece of cake everyone is eyeing but nobody dares to have? Well, Capricorns won’t take it. They don’t need it. … besides we’ve already secretly eaten one backstage. 8.Family: The Capricorn goat loves their kids. And not just their kids … the whole family. And not just their own family. Not even just the concept of family. I think they genuinely love the Family Channel. 9.Reallists:We’re the ultimate realists. If life gives us lemons, we don’t just make lemonade; we analyze the market demand for citrus-based beverages and start a profitable lemonade stand. It’s all about that practical approach, baby.10.Patience: Lastly, Capricorns are known for their patience. Much like how I am tolerating my own ramblings! And there you have it folks! Ten things about Capricorns. They’re like sensible socks, predictable yet comforting, in this insane shoe of life. You’ll always find good use for them. Happy stargazing! Remember, this is as good as astrology gets to being scientifically correct; and me trying to convince you otherwise – that’s the actual comedy here.

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The 10 best things about being a Sagittarius

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  The 10 best things about being a Sagittarian. Alright, let’s give Sagittarians the spotlight! Without wasting any more time, let’s dive into the ten best things about being a Sagittarian!  1.Number one: Don’t mess with me We’re the only astrological sign with a weapon. So, when we say, ‘Don’t mess with us’, you’d better heed the warning! Aquarians, they carry an urn! What are they going to do—wet you to death?  2.Number two: Charisma Sagittarians are ruled by Jupiter, the biggest planet in the solar system! You know what they say about Jupiter, don’t you? It’s so big, it has its own gravitational field! That’s why when a Sagittarian walks into a room, everyone gravitates toward them. No, no, it isn’t because we accidentally sat on the buffet spread, again!  3.Number three:Horsey We’re half man, half horse! I mean, that’s just a party waiting to happen! Imagine the savings on Uber fares! And there’s never a queue at the bar for us because, let’s face it, how many people are going to argue with a Centaur?  4.Number four:Optimistic Sagittarians are the eternal optimists. You may see a damp tea bag, we see a potential second cup of tea! 5.Number five:Honesty For Sagittarians honesty isn’t just a policy – it’s practically a religion. “Does my bum look big in this?” If you don’t want to know, don’t ask a Sagittarian! 6.Number six:Natural Outdoor adventures! We love the outdoors! We love to travel! And could there be anything better? Whether it’s a trek in the wilderness, catching flights to exotic locales, or perfecting the art of getting lost on the way to the supermarket, we Sagittarians are pros! 7.Number seven:Inquisitive Sagittarians are inquisitive. We’re those annoying kids constantly asking ‘Why?’ All the time! “Why is the sky blue?” “Why is water wet?” “Why did you think that mix of floral print with polka dots was a good just idea?” You get the picture. 8.Number eight:Generous We’re known as generous folks. And, why not? After all, anyone who’d willingly lend someone their last Rolo is a true hero in my book! 9.Number nine:Tolerant We are tolerant. You’ve never seen patience until you’ve seen a Sagittarian waiting for the kettle to boil! Staring at it.. “Any time now, Mr. Kettle! I’m not growing any younger!” 10. Number ten: Idealistic And finally, number ten, we are idealistic. Yes, and somewhat naive, you laugh? Remember one man’s naivety is another man’s optimism! We might not have grasped the concept of how to operate the microwave yet but we’re pretty sure world peace is right around the corner! So there you have it, folks, the top ten benefits of being a Sagittarian! To sum it up, we’re honest, generous centaurs, armed with a big bow and an even bigger heart, who walk around like human magnets! And for the rest of you non-Sagittarians… Well, you can just be jealous. Or learn how to shoot a bow and arrow.

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The 10 best things about being a Aquarians

Aquarius, Ranking /

  The 10 best things about being a Aquarians. Ladles and Jellyspoons,  I’m here to tell you all about the wonderful, wacky, and woefully misunderstood creature the Aquarians! Aquarians, those born between January 20th and February 18th, they’re like the quirky cousin at family gatherings who’s dancing in the corner with a lampshade on their head and a glass of champers in their hand – you never quite know what to expect with them. So, let’s dive into the Aquarian ocean, or aquarium if you will, and explore the ten best things about being an Aquarian! 1.Aquarians are virtually Google! Point number one, and arguably the most hilarious one – Aquarians are virtually Google! Seriously, their brains are like vast networks of interconnected trivia. Name any topic, and they’ll spill out facts like an overturned encyclopedia. “Oh, you were wondering about the migratory patterns of the Sri Lankan flying squirrel? Well, let me tell you…” It’s absolutely mad! They don’t need Wikipedia, they are Wikipedia.  2.Champions Number two, they’re the ultimate truth or dare champions! See, their renowned unpredictability becomes an advantage here because “Oh, I’ll just choose truth this time, keep it safe you know…” and then BAM! Before you know it, they’re running down the street in their underwear, juggling a pineapple and a couple of angry cats, screaming “Long live the Queen!” If you ever end up playing a game with them, be prepared for a wild ride!  3. Social butterflies Third on the list: They’re the social butterflies of the zodiac – if the butterflies were on Red Bull. Aquarians can keep entire rooms hooked to their words, and they do this without even trying! They don’t need social media; people are drawn to them like moths to a flame. Their parties must be like being inside a pinball machine with extra flashing lights!  4.Fourth Number four – Innovation is their middle name. If Aquarians were kitchen utensils, they’d be a Swiss army knife-cum-space shuttle hybrid. Amazing, right? They always have the most unique solutions to any problem. “Oh, your car won’t start? Have you tried doing the hula whilst wearing a tinfoil hat under the full moon? That usually does the trick for me.” And the crazy part is, it does work for them! 5.Ideal Peter Pans! Fifth on my list is that Aquarians are your ideal Peter Pans! They may grow old, but they never grow up. With their spark of childlike curiosity and the genuine joy they find in everything, they keep you laughing and smiling. And, isn’t laughter the best remedy for growing old? Aquarian: the Peter Pan of the cosmos. 6.Calm and composed For point number six, we have a somewhat unpopular point: They are incredibly hard to annoy! Seriously, they are so calm and composed it’s infuriating! Even when you’re deliberately trying to wind them up, they’d just shrug it off and ask you, “What’s the capital of Bhutan?” with a smirk. Makes you want to pull your hair out! 7.No fear, No fuss Moving on to number seven, let’s talk about their independence. They’re like the horoscope equivalent of Bear Grylls – no fear, no fuss. If you drop an Aquarian on a remote island, they’d probably build a luxury resort out of coconuts and teach the local critters to serve cocktails! 8.Fashion sense Number eight, their fashion sense! Aquarians do not follow trends. They set them. They’ll walk down the street in rainbow leggings and a sombrero worn sideways, and by the week’s end, everyone in town is doing it! They’re like Vogue, but unpredictable and slightly tipsy! 9.Fighting spirit At number nine, we have their fighting spirit. Aquarians always have a sparkle in their eyes and a grin on their face… but when the chips are down, they morph into the fiercest predator – the sharpest beak loaded with leathal weapons, ready to do battlle in  khaki combat trousers! 10.Finally The best thing about being a Gemini, haa And finally, number ten, the peak of the Aquarian iceberg – their humility! Despite all their talents and their quirks, they always remain grounded. Making fun of themselves before anyone else can, they’re the masters of self-deprecating humour. And that’s why we can’t help but adore them!nds down, is that they always have someone to blame… ‘Wasn’t me, it was my twin.’ So there you have it, folks. Ten reasons why being an Aquarian is the best! I tell you, if I could choose my star sign, I’d go Aquarian all the way. Until next time, keep laughing at the stars!

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The 10 best things about being a Gemini

Gemini, Ranking /

  The 10 best things about being a Gemini. I’m here to discuss the top ten things about being a Gemini, the zodiac’s favorite communication-crazed twins. I mean, how else can you explain the incessant talking, right? 1.Variety Variety is the spice of life for Geminis. God forbid they get bored! You know, a Gemini will go bungee jumping, skydiving, and try out a cooking class all in the same day just to punctuate their “mediocre” Tuesday.  2.The twins’ symbol The twins’ symbol is perfect for a Gemini – the only star sign that gets to order two meals at a restaurant without feeling guilty, ‘because the other half needs feeding too, right?’  3.Geminis are butterflies Geminis are often likened to butterflies, fluttering from group to group, soaking up all the gossip. Never fear, your secrets are safe…well, as safe as the last person they chatted with at the bar…or was it the postman?  4.Fourth If social media ever went down, Geminis would take it upon themselves to personally pass on all the world’s information. Carrier pigeons have nothing on them! 5.Adventure Geminis have, what I call, ‘communication superpowers.’ They could persuade a fish to climb a tree, and convincingly tell you it was the fish’s idea all along! 6.Passion Quick-witted would be an understatement for Geminis; before you’ve even finished your sentence, they’ve got a response, a joke, and a short novel ready. 7.Leader Oh, and talk about being adaptable. A Gemini could blend seamlessly between an opera house and a rock concert, charming their way through both crowds with the same charismatic ease. 8.Secret Geminis could single-handedly keep coffee shops in business. I mean, they act as if instant coffee is some sort of crime against humanity. And let’s not even start on their order – “I’ll have a double chocolate caramel macchiato with a splash of almond milk, touch of cinnamon, and three whipped cream dollops please…” 9.Independent Being born under an air sign, Geminis, like Mary Poppins, seem to be carried by the wind. You never know where they’ll appear next… unless it’s an event without Wi-Fi, then you can safely assume they’re at home. 10.Finally The best thing about being a Gemini, hands down, is that they always have someone to blame… ‘Wasn’t me, it was my twin.’ And there you have it, folks, the thrilling tale of being a Gemini: constant chatter, infinite charm, and a magical ability to be in two places at once…or at least, make two dinner reservations at once. Just when you think you’ve figured them out, they leave you wondering, “Wait, which twin was that again?”

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