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The 10 best things about being a Aries

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  The 10 best things about being a Aries. Good evening ladies and gents! You’ve probably noticed by now… I’m a bit energetic! Zipping around the stage like a toddler on energy drinks! And why is that, you may ask? Well, I’ll let you in on my little secret. I’m an ARIES! The astrological equivalent of a caffeine addict! “An Aries?” you say. The strongest, fiercest, most energetic of the zodiac? Yes, my friends. and let me enlighten you about the ten best things that make us the best. 1.First let’s start with our symbol, the RAM. Well I’m the ultimate Ram raider – A rhino!. Horn sharpened and ready to go! Even if we simply wanted to butter our toast, we’d tackle it head on! Full speed ahead – you should see the condition of my kitchen!  2.We’re ruled by Mars The RED planet! Not some watery moon or sunny sun, we’ve got a planet named after a chocolate bar! Yes, for an Aries, you don’t just go Mars… You live Mars, you are Mars! And my waistline agrees!  3.Confidence But that’s not all! We Aries… we spill confidence! It’s like a disease, honestly. I once accidentally convinced a man I was a seasoned astronaut… while buying socks! He’s probably still waiting for me to land on the moon!  4.Fourth Aries are known as the babies of the zodiac. No, we don’t cry and poop in a diaper – well, not usually. We’re the first sign, newly hatched chickens! We’re so fresh, we’ve got that New Zodiac Sign Smell! 5.Adventure Five, we’re always up for adventure! Once, I mistook a woman’s pram for a shopping trolley! We ended up in a car chase with the woman shouting, “Give me back my baby!” Adventurous? Yes. Smart? That’s up for debate. 6.Passion That’s our middle name! Even for the mundane tasks. “Get the milk!” becomes “Embrace the dairy aisle! Cuddle the cows! Seduce the semi-skimmed!” 7.Leader Leader of the pack Yes, we like to take charge – it’s like being in an episode of Star Trek every single day. “Boldly go? Oh Captain, I’ve already gone and come back with takeaways!” 8.Secret Every Aries is a secret ninja. We’re the Jackie Chans of the zodiac. You’ve not seen trouble until you’ve tried to pull a surprise party on an Aries! 9.Independent Aries are the most independent. Need help with that jar lid? “No thank you, I’ve got a chainsaw!” 10.Funny This is the golden one folks, we’re hilariously funny! Just like… well… me! It might be part ego, part insanity, but let’s not dig too deep, we’ll leave that to the Scorpios. So, there you have it! The ten best things about being an Aries! You’re all sitting there, thinking, “Wow, I wish I was an Aries!” Well, you can’t be… but we’ll let you hang out with us. But only if you remember – no surprise parties! We’ve got ninja reflexes, remember? Now if you’ll excuse me, my toast is waiting for its head-on tackling! Good night!

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The 10 best things about being a Pisces

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  The 10 best things about being a Pisces. Sit back, relax, and prepare to have your fins tickled as we dive into the ten best things about being a Piscean! 1.The Fishy Fashion Sense: As a Piscean, you have an innate ability to rock any outfit with style. From mermaid tails to seashell accessories, your wardrobe is always on point. Who needs basic human fashion when you can slay under the sea chic? 2.Unleashing the Imagination: Being a Piscean means having an imagination that’s swimming in creativity. You can turn the most mundane tasks into epic adventures in your mind. Doing laundry? More like saving your socks from the evil washing machine monster! 3.Emotional Intelligence at its Finest: Pisceans are known for their emotional depth and sensitivity. You effortlessly ride waves of emotions like a pro surfer navigating gnarly tides – from laughing so hard you snort to crying over random commercials. 4.Swimming with Compassion: Being compassionate is second nature to you as a Piscean. Your friends always come to you for advice because they know you’ll lend an ear and offer understanding – along with some hilarious commentary. 5.Dancing in Dreamland: Ahh, dreaming! It’s where Pisceans shine their brightest (even if it’s in complete darkness). Your dreams are wilder than any movie plot twist – flying on unicorns while debating philosophy with squirrels? Absolutely! 6.Laughing Like No One’s Watching: With humor running through your veins like water in an ocean current, laughter becomes both contagious and therapeutic for you as a Piscean. You find joy in the simplest things, from accidentally slipping on a banana peel to perfectly timed knock-knock jokes. 7.Intuition that’s Spot-On: Your intuitive powers as a Piscean are mind-blowing. You can sense when the pizza delivery guy is about to arrive even before the doorbell rings! It’s like you have a direct line to the universe’s insight hotline. 8.The Art of Procrastination: Every great artist needs a little procrastination time, and as a Piscean, you’ve mastered this art form. Delaying tasks until the last minute somehow magically enhances your creative brilliance – it’s called “last minute genius.” 9.Escaping Reality: Reality can be overrated, but luckily as a Piscean, you effortlessly slip into daydreams whenever you please. Need an escape from boring conversations? Just let your mind wander off into an alternate universe where talking cats rule the world! 10.Embracing Your Inner Mermaid: Let’s face it; being part fish is pretty cool! Whether it’s lounging by the pool or taking long baths, being in water feels like home for Pisceans. You’re basically living out your aquatic fantasies on dry land. And there you have it, folks – ten ridiculously funny and silly reasons why being a Piscean rocks! So embrace your fishy traits with pride, laugh your way through life, and remember to look to the stars for guidance (or just for entertainment).

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10 best things about being a Leo

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  The 10 best things about being a Leo.   Today, we’re talking about the lionhearted Leos! Now let’s not forget, just like the weather, astrology doesn’t always play out the way you want, but in the name of fun, let’s work with it!So… Leo’s They’re confident, self-assured, and charismatic. They have a very strong sense of their own identity and value—they don’t feel like they need to change anything about themselves to be accepted or loved. 1.Natural born leadersJust like the majestic lion, they strut around the savannah of life with an innate knack for leadership. “Walk this way,” they say, while everyone else is scratching their heads, trying to work out which way is up.  2.Loyalty If anyone were to do you wrong, trust a Leo to exact a Shakespearean revenge plot. Add a few twists, turns, intricate planning, and duals at dawn…or a tea time, whatever they fancy. They’ll defend your honor like Macbeth, but hopefully, less gloomily!  3.Creativity They’ll grab a handful of glitter, a lolly stick, a steely eye and a thrusting jaw full of determination and enthusiasm and tthey’ll attempt anything from a soufflé that looks like Big Ben to turning a garden shed into a space rocket. Life’s never mundane with a Leo, or their soufflés.   4.AmbitionIf you want someone who’ll climb Mount Everest in flip-flops, summon a Leo! They’ll not only make it to the summit but also find a way to get 5G and live-stream the whole debacle!5.Passion, darhling, …passsionA Leo could get emotional about a parking meter. They can pour their heart into any conversation. “Tea or coffee?” becomes a Shakespearean monologue about choices and the existential crisis! 6.Warmth  As warm as a freshly baked croissant on a cold winter morning…but don’t try to butter them up, unless it’s Nutella!  7.GenerousIf a Leo won the lottery, they’d throw a parade, build a golden statue, and still have enough left to buy everyone a round of drinks.8.Rebel with a cause.  ….and claws Leo can be a bit of a rebel. ….but just a bit. Leo’s are not big fans of other people’s rules. They like to be the one to MAKE the rules,  Then they don’t like breaking them.  But It’s OK to bend the rules …and bend them just as far as THEY need to,  They will always stand up (and fight) for what they believe is a just cause.  9. Honest Leo’s are honest about what they thinks and do. They are never afraid to speak their mind and give it to you straight. And that honesty sometimes makes others feel uncomfortable or awkward, but that just means Leo is being true to themself!  10.Simply Ravishing, darh’ling   And finally, ……the big one!!! Leo’s ravish life. Leos lick the plates clean, quite literally. Live life and ALWAY have dessert!!! Live life to the fullest, that’s their mantra!   They’ll turn sitting in traffic into a car-karaoke dance party. Never let it be said that life with a Leo is dull.    If you’re a Leo, you’re a fire sign. You’re outgoing, energetic, and confident. You have a big personality, and you love to draw attention to yourself. You love being the center of attention, and you think that’s what life is all about. So folks, there it is, a wholly scientific and comically astrological explanation for why Leos are simply roaring-ly wonderful. If there’s a Leo in your life, cherish them, laugh with them, and for the love of all you hold dear, leave them the last piece of cake!!!! Leo’s really DO love cake!

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10 best things about being a Taurean

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  The 10 best things about being a Taurean Today I want to talk about something that’s much closer to my heart, I want to talk about the glitzy, glamorous, and ever so humble Taureans. Now, I know what you’re thinking – “What could I possibly want to know about a sign represented by a giant farm animal – specifically a Bull? Well, let me tell you, these “field-artists” know a thing or two about living the good life! 1.Head strong(Stubborn)The big horns just show how head strong we are. We Taureans are stubborn, which works in our favor. You say, “No, you can’t eat all the donuts!” And we say, “Watch us!” Now, fairness requires me to perhaps admit that it might not be the healthiest approach but…it definitely gets us more donuts. …which is a good thing.  2.Foodies  we’re foodies, which explains all the donuts. We know our way around a menu, let me tell you. If it’s edible, fried, has chocolate, or generally raises your cholesterol, we’re right there. We’re like the Google Maps of edibles.  3.SleeperNo one can nap like a Taurus. Forget cats and koalas, we are the unofficial nap champions of the universe. When Sleeping becomes an Olympic sport – which it should – it’s all ours. 4.Practical We’re practical. You’ll never find a Taurus chasing after lunatic dreams like being an Astrologer or a writer or anything as daft and Pie in the sky as that. …I mean, who would do such a thing? Yummmmm. Pie….  5.Luxurious Next up, we Taureans appreciate the finer things. Nothing like a spot of artisan bread, a hand-stitched quilt or a beauttifull overstuffed couch to while away some hours on, eating Popcorn and binging on the latest blockbuster.  6.Reliable If we say we’re going to show up, clean up our acts or blow up- you better believe it! Just a shame that we’re too busy napping on the job, stuffing ourselves with donuts or trying to make famous comedians out of ourselves… 7.Down to earth in Nature  Taureans are VERY down to earth and at one with nature. There’s nothing quite like being flat on your back gazing at the stars with a sandwich in one hand and a cup of tea in the other. Now that’s my type of wilderness adventure! 8.RomanticNothing says romance like sharing a pizza with a ‘significant other’ in your finest lounge clothes. The beauteous twinkle in our eyes? That’s just the pizza grease, I assure you.9.Slow and steady Some might say we can be a bit slow. How very dare you!!!We might be slow to get up – literally and metaphorically but by our reckoning, by the time we have got there, WE WILLL HAVE given you enough time to cook a three-course meal, learn Italian and probably create a modernistic sculpture, to boot. …and YOU are very welcome. 10.Impervious to dramaFinally, Taureans are impervious to drama. You could tell us the world is ending and we’d just ask if there was still time for another donut or a short nap? So, there you have it – the ten best things about being a Taurus. From donut lovers to nap champions, we Taureans truly embody the essence of living the good life…or at least the most amusing, most well-fed and well-rested one!

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10 best things about being a Virgo

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  The 10 best things about being a Virgo. Ladies and Gentlemen, I am here to make light of the ordered universe and its most orderly sign, the Virgo. Yes, if you’re born between August 23rd and September 22nd, let’s break out some good old fashioned laughs at how absurdly fantastic it is to be a Virgo. 1.First off Virgos are known for being perfectionists. They are the sort of people who have an entire tool kit just to straighten the paintings on their wall. The Mona Lisa? Oh yes, Leonardo da Vinci could have used a Virgo like you’ll when he was freehanding that mysterious smile!  2.Secondly Virgos are analytical. They can make a pros and cons list for everything, including making a pros and cons list. They’re like brilliant detectives. Sherlock be damned, I bet Miss Marple was a Virgo.  3.Work When it comes to work, Virgos excel. They could out-Excel the spreadsheet itself! They love details so much, they’d probably proof-read the Bible, and send God a polite, yet firm email regarding grammar issues.  4.Passionate Virgo’s are tidy. Some say OCD, I say organically compelled domestics. Their homes are so clean, antiseptic manufacturers take samples. Microorganisms need to wash their hands before entry. Hygiene’s so high, even the dirt’s clean. 5.Best thing The fifth best thing about being a Virgo is you are an earth sign. Which means, your spirit animal is possibly a mole, a terrific hedgehog or Neil Armstrong. Yes, Virgos would have double checked the rocket before the moon landing. 6.Number 6! Virgos are notorious for their health consciousness. They’re so into body-flushing green drinks, their insides are greener than a vegan’s compost heap. The Kale lobby? Definitely a Virgo’s invention. 7.Great at giving advice If Life was an Agony Aunt column, Virgos would be the editors. They love to help others, even when not asked. Stuck on a Sudoku puzzle on a train? The stranger next to you, probably a Virgo. 8.Virgos are modest If they ever won a Nobel Prize, they’d go, “Oh, it’s just a little thing I did. Invented a cure for the common cold, nothing too significant.” Sigh, these inventively humble beings! 9.Number 9 Virgos are reliable. If they say they’ll help you bury a body… I mean, move a couch… you best believe they’ll be there with moving gloves, a detailed plan, and snacks. 10.And finally they’ve got a great sense of humour! They can take a joke and laugh at themselves; a fantastic trait and a balm in this curiously chaotic world. So there you have it, the ten best things about being a Virgo. If you’re a Virgo, I’m so sorry for revealing your secrets, but then again, you’re already preparing your counter monologue with annotated references and footnotes! Just kidding! You Virgos keep making those lists, tidying those rooms, and laughing at us chaotic non-Virgos. And remember, perfection is overrated unless you’re a macaroon!

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10 best things about being a Scorpio

Ranking, Scorpio /

  The 10 best things about being a Scorpio.   Today, we’re going to talk about the zoodiac’s veritable naughty stepper, the Scorpio! For all you non-scorpios out there, buckle up and get ready for a hilarious trip through the life of the Score. 1.NOT Virgos Let’s face it, the best thing about being a Scorpio is that you’re not a Virgo.Sorry Virgos, you’re lovely people, but you need to let go and have more fun.  2. Mysterious  We’re mysterious. Scorpios are like those fancy Spanish novels in the library. You know they’re exciting and maybe a bit naughty, but you can’t understand a word. Well, ….unless you speak Spanish. Or in my case, unless you’re more interesting than watching paint dry. 3.Resilient We are resilient. Throw us into a pit of quicksand, we’d come out with a sandcastle, a bucket made from our shirt and probably a tan.  4.Passionate Probably the most passionate out of all the signs. If a Scorpio was a car, we’d be one of those loud, souped-up fire-red Ferraris. Not that we’d wear the Ferrari logo around. We’d get it De-badged. We’re too mysterious for that.5.IntuitionWe have this killer intuition. I mean, it’s like we’re like a mediums or something. No, we’re not a size medium, we’re Xtra-ordinary, darling.6.CharismaOne of the classic Scorpio traits is that we’ve got buckets of charisma. I mean, we’re contagious …NO! not like the flu,. I mean we’re contagiously likeable.7.AllureAnd that charisma works in combo with an allure.   Say it out loud, now…. Allllluuuuurrrreee. Good word, innit? We have allure. We attract… like moths to a flame. 8.DeterminationCue up the stirring music ….. Whether it’s figuring out the latest phone or deciding on the perfect comeback for that cheeky comment from three weeks ago, we WANT it done.9.Age Defying As if we weren’t attractive enough already, we’ve got an amazing ability to look younger as we age. At this point, I am confident I might start teething again next month. 10.Ruled by PlutoWe’re ruled by Pluto. No! Are you doing this deliberately Not the Disney dog, While all the other signs have hot flashy Suns, moons and planets, we’ve got ourselves a dwarf planet. Nothing says ‘I’m one of a kind’ quite like being overlooked by the International Astronomical Union.

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